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  • Daisy Chow, LMHC, NCC

Anxious vs. Secure Attachment



What is your attachment style? There are two different attachment styles that people can have – anxious and secure. Both styles are normal and healthy, but they can lead to different experiences in relationships.


Anxious attachment style is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance from a partner. People with this attachment style tend to be clingy and demanding, and they often feel like they are never quite good enough for their partner.

Secure attachment style is characterized by a sense of security and self-sufficiency. People with this attachment style are more independent and self-assured, and they tend to handle relationships in a more relaxed way.

So, what’s the difference between these two attachment styles? And how does it affect the way we relate to others? Anxious attachment style is often the result of experiencing insecure attachments in childhood. This can happen when a parent is unavailable or unpredictable, leading the child to believe that they are not worth being loved. As a result, they develop a fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance.

Secure attachment style, on the other hand, is often the result of experiencing secure attachments in childhood. This can happen when a parent is consistent and loving, leading the child to believe that they are worth being loved. As a result, they develop a sense of security and self-sufficiency.

If you think you might have an anxious attachment style, it's consider seeking out help from a counselor. They can help you to understand your symptoms and develop a treatment plan that is right for you.

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